Marry Me
by Tree23
Summary: My little post-Watershed fic. I know everyone has done them, and I know that lots of people already know what Kate's answer is. But this is my take, and I have no idea what her answer is. I live my life spoiler free :)


**A/N: So today is my dear friend Mandy's birthday! !...you should all follow her on Twitter supermandy77 for good conversation about Castle (esp smut) and the Cubs (best team in baseball!) and completely unrelated things like corn (dancing or otherwise) ...So, Mandy, here is your birthday present! I wrote you a little post-Watershed fic (I know, I know, everyone has written a post-Watershed fic)...maybe not so original a topic, but I haven't seen this take on it, so hopefully it will feel fresh and ...well, possible. **

**Happy Happy Birthday! I hope it's a fantastic one. And I hope all your wishes (wink wink!) come true this year :)**

**Disclaimer: As my twitter friends know, I not only don't own Castle, but I also prefer to stay spoiler-free. So, despite everyone else in the Castle-verse knowing what will happen on September 23 (which is actually my half-birthday so it will be a nice present...much nicer than the cupcakes my mom used to make for me when I was little!) ...despite everyone else knowing, I have absolutely no idea what is going to happen. None. So, any similarities between what I've written here and the actual show are literally by sheer fluke. Also, please don't put any spoilers in any reviews you might graciously offer...I really want September 23 to be a surprise :)**

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"Katherine Houghton Beckett, will you marry me?"

Kate sat on the swing shocked as she watched him get down on his knee, hold out a ring. Her mouth hung slack as she processed the words he had just said. Her brain struggled to keep up with the myriad of thoughts dodging around in her mind, until she was left with just one.

She gave voice to her decision. "I'm going to take the job."

She couldn't bring herself to look at him. Mechanically, she stared straight ahead, focusing on a group of children playing in the distance. She fought valiantly with the tears that threatened to burst through her stoic facade, knowing that if she made eye contact with him, she would break, maybe even give in and change her mind. Kate swallowed hard as she felt the weight of her statement pressing down on her and waited for his response.

Without pause, Castle replied calmly, "I know you are. Now answer my question."

Kate looked back at him dumbfounded. He wasn't getting it. If she wasn't so confused by his response she might have realized that her heart was breaking from the significance of finally voicing her decision and what it would likely mean for their future.

"Castle," she told him with a shake of her head, taking a deep breath. Saying it once had been hard enough. A second time could break her. "I'm taking the job. I'm moving to DC." She couldn't say it any plainer.

Again he replied, "Yes, I know."

_Apparently not plain enough._

He looked at her expectantly, still waiting for a response, still on one knee.

_Why was he still on one knee?_

Kate's confusion grew and clouded her mind. "I...I don't understand."

Still as deadpanned as the first time he asked her, he said one more time, "Will. You. Marry. Me."

Kate breathed out a puff of air as her eyebrows knit together. He just kept repeating his question – his _proposal_ – as if she hadn't just told him she was going to leave New York. She couldn't decide if Castle was hearing her but being stubborn, hoping she would change her mind, or just dismissing her out of hand. It was like he was refusing even to listen, resolving that he would make the decision for them.

_But no, he had said,_ '_Whatever you decide.' Why would he have said that if he wasn't going to then listen to her? Wasn't she making her decision?_

"But..." she paused.

"Kate," he tried again. There was a sternness in his tone that broke through the fog of confusion and overwhelming emotion that were clouding her brain. "Kate, I'm not standing up until you give me an answer."

Kate was beginning to get frustrated by his persistence. He was still down on one knee. He was still holding out the ring. He still wasn't listening to her.

"Castle, I told you, I'm going to DC."

"And I asked you to marry me." Again he waited.

"Castle, I don't..." her voice trailed off and finally the frustration in her head showed on her face.

This wasn't going the way she thought it would. She hadn't been sure _what_ might happen when she told him her plan. But it definitely wasn't this.

But really, that wasn't true. If she was honest with herself, she knew _exactly_ how she thought this would go. In reality, she thought they would be over. That Castle would realize there would be no easy way for them to continue their relationship if she moved to DC.

She did, however, think he would accept her decision. He would be upset, yes. He would be angry, sure. But he would accept it and they would be done. They would go their separate ways and that would be it.

Castle breathed out heavily through his nose as he pressed his lips together, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, as if he knew a secret that she didn't. "Look, Kate, I recognize that I caught you off guard, but I asked you a question and I would like an answer."

In his mind, Castle recognized that this entire scene was bordering on absurd, but he wasn't going to back down. He had made a decision that no matter what Kate said when she arrived at the swings, at _their_ swings, that he was going to ask her. Now that he had, he was beginning to worry that it might not be so simple. But it was out there now, his question, and he meant it, and he wasn't going to move until she gave him an answer. He really was hoping that she would figure it out on her own, figure out that she could have both. That she _deserved_ both.

"Castle, you understand that I'm taking the job?" She finally asked.

"Yes."

"That I'm moving to Washington?"

"Yes."

"But you're still asking me to marry you?"

"Yes."

There was a twinkle in Castle's eyes as he patiently answered her questions.

Kate would be lying if she said she understood what was going through his mind. At this point, she wasn't exactly sure what was going through her own.

"And how exactly is this going to work?" She finally responded.

"I don't know."

"Are you going to move to DC?" She tried another tact.

"I don't know." Kate stared deeply into his eyes, searching to make sense of his vague responses. But he just stared back at her. _Was that hint of a smirk or a smile on his face?_

"Well what about Alexis? And Martha?"

"I don't know."

"Castle!" Kate started, exasperated.

"Look, Kate," Castle finally reached over and took her hand, lowering the ring in his other hand. "I don't know how this will work. I don't know if we'll both move to DC, or if I'll stay in New York and we'll both commute, or if you'll even get posted somewhere else entirely. I don't know."

Castle looked down momentarily collecting his thoughts while Kate stared back at him, feeling the warmth of his hand on hers. Even a year later, she still felt the electricity in his touch, still felt her breath catch and her heart beat faster just knowing he was in this.

_He was in this. This was serious, he was being serious._

Kate's sudden understanding of the honesty of Castle's proposal forced her to draw in a sudden sharp breath.

He looked up at her again, "And as for Alexis, she's in college, she's growing up. And mother? Well, she's growing up too. They don't need me like they used to." This was obviously a difficult admission for him to make. She smiled gently, but he wasn't returning the gesture. His features hardened slightly as he continued on, gaining more conviction with each word. "So, how is this going to work? I don't have one damned clue. And frankly, I don't care."

Kate was finally starting to recognize the sincerity behind Castle's proposal when his last words sunk in.

_And frankly, I don't care...wait, what?_ A look of shock darkened her face.

Her heart was beating faster as she worried that maybe she had waited too long. Again. But despite a small, growing look of fear on her face, he soldiered on.

"Kate, I don't care if I move, or you move, or we move, or we stay. I don't care. Right now there are only two things I care about. One, I love you and I want to be with you for the rest of our lives. I know it's soon, and we have a lot to work out, and neither one of us is great at letting the other in. But Kate, I don't care. I have been scratching and clawing for every inch with you and I'm going to continue to scratch and claw for more, because we both deserve more. I have been fighting for you, for us, for so long I feel like I've been doing it my whole life, and I plan on spending the rest of my life continuing to fight for you, and for us." He squeezed her hand now and stared at her with such intensity that she felt he was staring directly into her soul, but then his voice softened. "So no, I don't know what we're going to do. I don't know how we're going to make this work. I don't have one. Damned. Clue. But I am _not_ about to let a little thing like time and space and a job keep us from being together."

Kate watched as he continued his emotional rant.

"We have bettered drug dealers and ex-wives, aliens and sasquatch, rogue CIA agents and mobsters of all descent."

Her eyes softened, as she acknowledged that they had used up more than their share of second chances.

"We've survived gunshots, and freezers, and bombs – too many bombs," he squeezed her hand reassuringly as their minds flashed to her old apartment, the bank, the van, the pressure plate.

"And we've shattered massive conspiracies and cover ups. And Kate?" Castle looked up at her in such an honest sincerity that it melted her heart. This was what he had been trying to tell her all along. This was what she had not truly understood. "We're still here. We've survived. We're still together. And we may suck at the letting each other in thing, but we're still here. And we're going to get better at it because we are not done. I have loved you from the moment you came into my life and there is no way in hell that I'm letting go that easy. There's no way I'm letting us go."

Castle finally stopped, completely unaware that he had been talking for the better half of five minutes and had barely taken a breath. He sat silent now, still crouched on one knee, breathing heavily from the need for oxygen and the passion and conviction that had just taken over his body.

Castle stared at Beckett, his eyes brimming with love and determination and maybe just a hint of fear that maybe, _just maybe_, he wasn't enough for her. That maybe, she wouldn't see it his way. When she didn't respond right away, he dropped her hand and his gaze drifted downward.

Maybe she _wouldn't _see it his way.

Kate stared at him, completely taken aback not only by the strength of the emotions he had just displayed, but also by the feelings that his lengthy diatribe had brought out in her. When she walked into that park, past the wrought iron gate, over the crest of the hill, she had resigned herself to the possibility that they would be over. In fact, she had seen it as inevitable. No matter which way she had looked at it, she could only see one ending. _Ending._

But, as had been her problem all along, she was ignoring the most important factor. _Castle_. She had made the assumption from the start that this whole thing was all about her. That even though he would be affected, when push came to shove, it was her decision to make. She hadn't even given him a chance to be a part of it.

Why hadn't she given him that chance? Was she afraid he would start spinning his crazy theories and come up with some impossible scenario for them that she knew wouldn't work long term? Was she afraid he would keep grasping at straws like he did when they looked for Smith's other copy of her mother's file, even when she knew it was futile? Or, was she really afraid that he might choose to leave, realize she was more damaged and selfish than he could handle, and walk?

As she had done so many times before, Kate had underestimated Rick. She hadn't given him enough credit, hadn't given him the benefit of the doubt. Hadn't thought for one second that he could possibly understand the predicament that _she_ was in. She hadn't even given him a chance.

And Rick, as he had done so many times before, had considered only her and them. He had put her and their relationship before himself. Just like he did for the three years before he admitted his feelings for her, when he knew she wasn't ready to see it. Just like he did for the year that he waited for her to finally admit it too. And just like he was doing now. He was putting himself out there, taking the risk for them. He was putting them first. He always knew what was best for them before she did.

Kate considered all these thoughts as Castle waited patiently. He kind of wished she would hurry up a bit – his arm was getting tired and his knees were starting to ache – but he knew that he could only push her so far before he had to sit back and wait for her to catch up. So he sat. And he waited. And he silently prayed she would catch up.

And as he waited, and as she pondered, a smile slowly crept to the corners of Kate's mouth. The tightness around her eyes softened and the tense muscles in her shoulders and neck began to relax. The change was small, almost imperceptible, and Castle wondered if he was just seeing what he wanted to see, or if his prayers really were being answered.

Finally, she broke the silence. "You said there were two things you cared about." Castle cocked his head to the side, trying to see where she was heading. "But I think that was only one."

He grinned sheepishly realizing that he had gotten so caught up in his ranting that he hadn't exactly finished his earlier thought. "The first thing I care about is that I love you. I love you with all my heart, in a way that I never knew was possible, or at least that I never thought I would truly find. And the second thing I care about is your answer to my question." Castle's brow furrowed slightly as he tried to gauge her reaction.

"Your question?" she asked innocently, as if she didn't fully remember the four momentous words that had started this whole conversation. "Maybe you could ask me again. I've kind of forgotten."

Castle puffed out a breath in a brief moment of disbelief before Kate broke out into a wide smile that he was sure lit up the whole park. Her eyes shone clear and he could see that she finally understood. She had pieced it all together and realized that they could have both, that just because they were together, it didn't mean they had to stop growing, give up everything they had ever wanted for themselves. It just meant that they had someone else by their side while they figured it all out.

He breathed again, this time an exasperated sigh of relief, accompanied by a smirk flashing briefly across his face. Recomposing himself, Rick cleared his throat and raised the ring higher towards her, the love he felt for her bringing new energy and life to his previously tiring body. Despite having asked her several times already, Castle knew that this time would be the last.

"Katherine. Houghton. Beckett. Will you marry me?" His eyebrows raised with the question, though he knew what her answer would be.

This time, Kate wasted no time. She jumped off the swing and threw her arms around his neck saying one loud, joyous "Yes!" And then quietly, almost whispering into his ear, the best sound he had ever heard, "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Losing his balance from the weight and force of her attack, they fell in a heap on the soft grass under the swings, showering each other with kisses.

In a rare show of stereotypical masculine dominance, Castle flipped them so Kate was lying on her back beneath his large frame. He propped himself up on one elbow and used his free hand to brush the errant hairs away from her face. He continued to stroke her cheek as he looked down upon her.

Slowly he reached down and slid the ring onto her left hand and brought her newly adorned finger up to his lips. His eyes locked with hers sending chills up and down her body.

"I love you," he whispered huskily as he attempted to reign in the emotion that was threatening to overwhelm him.

"I love you too," she replied as a single tear fell from the corner of her eye. Castle caught it before it ran down her face and he kissed her lightly.

After a few moments of laughter and kisses and tender touches, the reality of their new problem rose to the surface of Castle's mind. He didn't want to break the mood, but they were going to have to deal with it at some point. "Kate?" he started, raising up on one elbow again, stroking her face lightly with his finger tips, "I really have no idea what we're going to do."

Kate let a small burst of laughter escape her lips. As always, Castle knew just how to break a tense situation.

"I don't either Castle. But we'll figure it out. Together."


End file.
